♪ [calm piano music]
When I was 14 years old,
a boy said he liked me, and I thought I liked the boy, too.
So, you know, as any teenager, you're curious about things,
you start realizing that you have a body, and it's interesting,
and it's this, like, new playground, almost.
And he suggested that we do a little video chat.
And then, one thing kind of led to the other.
I thought it was this boy must really like me.
But, as I later found out, this was very premeditated.
He knew what he was doing.
He recorded the video call and sent it to a friend
who sent it to another friend
who sent it to another friend.
And eventually it got sent to everyone on this website.
And then it was shared to other websites,
porn sites, random pages from different countries.
I would wake up at 6 a.m., get ready for school, go to school all day,
the whole time I'm on my phone checking for any mention,
any new messages that I got from random creeps.
And then I would come home and from 4 p.m. to let's say like 1:30 a.m.
the whole time I am sitting there with my laptop
filing takedown requests and website requests.
It becomes the only thing you can think about,
the only thing you care about.
I had no time for anything else because
I very quickly realized that at the time,
if I wasn't going to do anything, no one would do anything.
And I honestly didn't notice a difference in the online harassment I was experiencing
until Project Arachnid.
Only then I felt like I didn't have to do it myself
because up until that point I had been doing it myself.
I feel like with Project Arachnid, I have been able to, in a way,
move on with my life because I'm not constantly retraumatizing myself,
searching for this video at all hours of day and night.
I can actually focus on something else and I have time for other things.
And in that way, Project Arachnid has truly been instrumental in improving my life
in a way that I used to dream of.
I used to dream that somebody would do that for me.
And Project Arachnid is that dream.
It's not your fault and you didn't do anything wrong.
You did nothing wrong in believing that
there is good in people and that you can trust them.
That is not your fault.
The fault is that somebody took your trust and turned it into something vile.
The shame makes you feel like you're the one that did something wrong.
You're the problem.
But that's not true.
The future is there.
It'll always be there.
There is a way out. And it does get better.
But, you have to talk about it.
You can't keep all that pain inside.
It's too much for one person.
It's an incredible weight.
It feels like it will never get better.
It feels like nothing will ever change.
But it will.
You have to be strong and you can be because you reached out.
That's a first step.
There are people who care.
There are people who will do tireless work to help.
And I know it doesn't feel like that.
But there are.
And there are so many more than you can think of
who have been there like you, who have felt the pain like you
and who have gotten out on the other side.
But the thing is, you have to believe that there is another side,
and there is, and it's hard, and it feels like it'll never get better. But it will.
And it does.
And it gets so much better.
And one day, it won't hurt to talk about it.
And one day, your closest people will know, not because
of an accident. Or someone found out and told them,
but because you felt strong enough to share.
I'm so grateful for myself that I made it this far
and that I stuck up for myself and that I pulled myself out of it
because it was terrible for so many years.
But it's not terrible anymore.
And I only got to find that out because I kept going,
and the only way out is through
and the light is there and you will reach it.
You just have to keep going.